Do you ever have days when you wake up and everything seems even darker than usual? You feel like all your energy is drained and everything is lost and all the unhappy memories are just flooding back as if the flood gates had been opened during a Hurricane. I have those days a lot and whether it has a cause or not, I am left just feeling absolutely alone. Usually these days I just want to crawl under my covers and never come out again. I always wonder what am I even suppose to do if I don't even know what is wrong? Well, my best guess would be to make myself happy though it is a sad day. For me, this means fixing me tea and watching a Disney movie or taking my bike and riding to the park for about an hour or so. Other times I just lay in bed and read all day or spending times with friends or family.It offers a distraction to these unwanted feelings and allows me to find a way to not be weighed down all day by my feelings. Also, I have this one friend who is always there for me and always lets me talk about whats going on and lets me vent to her and it really helps because she often times knows just what to say to make me feel better or at least a bit better than I originally felt. If you have a friend like that, I suggest talking to them on these days. Find the things that make you feel better and do that and if you ever need to talk, you are welcome to contact me at my email or twitter account and soon I will post a Tumblr account as well, so keep an eye out for that. Let me know if you have any ideas for my blog, have questions, or any advice to get happy in comments.
June is the month of Juno or Hera, the goddess of family and marriage. Can you paint a picture of you and your family all in a perfect place in harmony? I believe you can.
One of my best friends wrote this while I was in a stagnant state. She has her own website that I will later post a link to. She is amazing and has been a great help in my many struggles. I love her to death. She is Emilla, but my friends and I sometimes call her Air Heart, which then leads to me being called Aunty Eva Las Vegas. Anyways though...
But going off of what she said, many people are hurting because of the state their family is in. Whether it is they have an abusive parent, parents have lost their jobs, or they just don't get along. But what would your family look like if they didn't have these problems? I know I have thought about this many times. I always wonder "What if we didn't argue? What if we were in a state of ever impending loss of money?" So if you lost all the problems in your family, what would it look like? Let me know in the comments, I would love to hear.
So for most people here, school is out and Summer is in. So now that I am not bogged down by homework and most of my drama is out of the way, I will have more time to post stuff and make this blog the best it can be! Whoo!!! I hope your Summer goes great and I hope that this blog improves over the Summer. If you have any suggestions to improve the blog, leave a comment, email me, or send me a message on twitter.
I know what it feels like to be empty and to have felt like you have lost everyone, everything, and every battle. I know how that feels. I also know how it feels when it seems no one is on your side. I took it out on myself, just like many others did, because all you can think is that it must be your fault that no one wants to stay and that know one is willing to fight along side you in your battles. All you can think is that you are a total screw up and no one would care if I was gone. Well I can tell you now, that there would be at least 1 person who care, I know I would care. If I woke up one morning and saw your picture on the news and it said that you committed suicide, I know I would of cried. Because I know how it feels to want to take your life. I know how difficult it is to continue fighting when it feel like there is no reason to continue to keep fighting for every single breathe you take. But you know something? I am on your side. I am trying to help you fight for every breathe you take. While I am writing this post, I am trying to find all the right words to get you to keep fighting because by ending it all, you are not ending the pain, you are ending the chance for it to get better. So here is the one thing I want to say to all of you: I am so proud of you! Ya, you probably hear this on the inter-web a lot, but no, this is serious. I am proud of you because you have made it this far, many people couldn't make it as far as you. Many did not find their hope to make it as far as you. I am proud of you because even if you cut every day, or starve your self, or throw up after a meal, you are still here, you haven't fully given up. This makes you so strong and beautiful in ways you can't even imagine. I am proud of you if you are trying to recover from these kinds of mistakes. I am proud of you if you just barely finding a way every day, because you still found a way.
So lately, I know that for me it has been really hard to keep faith. Whether it is because of an argument, anxiety, or what, but it has been difficult. But it made me wonder what about you guys. We all have have times when we don't think we can keep going. We loose sight of what is important and what keeps us going. I'm very much aware of that. I wish it wasn't true that we loose faith, but it is. But we can't let that stop us from continuing on. Find those memories of when you were once happy, let that bring a smile to your face. Let the sun shine down on you and warm your soul. Find that little bit of light, find that little bit of joy, and let it bring a smile to your face, even if it is just a small one. If all else fails, email me, because I am always happy to help.
We all have days when we feel really bad.Whether it is just a mood swing or something actually happened. I personally have a lot of these days, but something I do to help me and others feel better is I find a way to share love. For example, I normally hug all my friends and family more than what I typically do. So I walk up to my friend at the bus stop and say "Hey I need a hug." and we hug. Or I see a friend at lunch and say "Hey, I just feel like hugging all my friends today." and we hug. It is a great way to help more than one person feel good. You could also leave note to people saying you appreciate what they have done for you. Just find a way to let someone know you love and appreciate them and it can help make you feel better and lift up someone else's day.
So today I went to church with my mother like usual. Not my favorite part of Sunday, but sometimes I actually get something from it like today. Today we talked about hope. The question is Where do you get your hope from? Well of course since this is church, the answer was Jesus. But really, where do YOU get your hope? Well first, what exactly is hope? For me, hope is a beacon of light in the middle of a dark forest. It is the candle lit path when I don't know where to go. It is the little voice that tells me to keep going though I have no where to turn. Hope is a beautiful angel that comes down and stays above my head even when I can't see it. So tell me, what does hope mean to you? Now answer the original question, where does your hope come from? The great thing is, is that hope can come from anywhere! Whether it is a future event or a person or a place. It can come from music, art, writing, studying, gaming, it can come from anywhere. For me, my hope comes from the 3 people who have yet to abandon me or get mad at me because of my current situation. One of them is the guy I like which makes it even more amazing! But the thing is, these people have made it possible for me to wake up every morning and have a reason to breathe. They reminded me I have to keep going, I have to prove everyone wrong, I have to prove MYSELF wrong. So what in life inspires you to keep going? What motivates you to prove people wrong or make yourself better? I really am interested in knowing, so let me know in the comments! I hope to hear from you!
Another great video that my friend recommended. She constantly gives me stuff like this to watch and listen to because she knows how I get sometimes. She knows that things like this inspire me and remind me I can be okay too. I hope this inspires you like it inspires me.
My friend told me about this video, so I watched it and I loved it! It is something that a lot of people can relate to. I hope ya'll enjoy it as much as I do.