I know what it feels like to be empty and to have felt like you have lost everyone, everything, and every battle. I know how that feels. I also know how it feels when it seems no one is on your side. I took it out on myself, just like many others did, because all you can think is that it must be your fault that no one wants to stay and that know one is willing to fight along side you in your battles. All you can think is that you are a total screw up and no one would care if I was gone. Well I can tell you now, that there would be at least 1 person who care, I know I would care. If I woke up one morning and saw your picture on the news and it said that you committed suicide, I know I would of cried. Because I know how it feels to want to take your life. I know how difficult it is to continue fighting when it feel like there is no reason to continue to keep fighting for every single breathe you take. But you know something? I am on your side. I am trying to help you fight for every breathe you take. While I am writing this post, I am trying to find all the right words to get you to keep fighting because by ending it all, you are not ending the pain, you are ending the chance for it to get better. So here is the one thing I want to say to all of you:
I am so proud of you! Ya, you probably hear this on the inter-web a lot, but no, this is serious. I am proud of you because you have made it this far, many people couldn't make it as far as you. Many did not find their hope to make it as far as you. I am proud of you because even if you cut every day, or starve your self, or throw up after a meal, you are still here, you haven't fully given up. This makes you so strong and beautiful in ways you can't even imagine. I am proud of you if you are trying to recover from these kinds of mistakes. I am proud of you if you just barely finding a way every day, because you still found a way.
I am so proud of you! Ya, you probably hear this on the inter-web a lot, but no, this is serious. I am proud of you because you have made it this far, many people couldn't make it as far as you. Many did not find their hope to make it as far as you. I am proud of you because even if you cut every day, or starve your self, or throw up after a meal, you are still here, you haven't fully given up. This makes you so strong and beautiful in ways you can't even imagine. I am proud of you if you are trying to recover from these kinds of mistakes. I am proud of you if you just barely finding a way every day, because you still found a way.